August 2009
6 posts
Dogs as intelligent as two-year-old children -... →
For many years I have wondered (often aloud) the troublesome question: at what age is a child more intelligent than a dog?
I have always been mocked, as though this was one of the most stupid questions ever asked… but no longer. It seems our nation’s finest scientific minds are on the same wavelength as me…
The actress Catherine Deneuve is booed by... →
So a bunch of Italian theatre-goers pay 50quid a head to see a play - which is recited in French by an arrogant French actress… The Italians go mental when they can’t nderstand a word… The police arrive. The French are upset that their heroine has been mistreated…
I love how the French think everyone else speaks French when its not even the third-biggest language in...
BBC NEWS | Aussie straps in beer, not child →
Gotta love them Aussies - one of them strapped in beer in the back seat instead of his five-year-old kid.
Priorities mate.
Having said that, Erica will testify that there have been some long journeys when I would have gladly traded Joel for a 30-pack…
Checking out of 'Hotel America' →
Justin Webb is coming home - I like what he has to say about America…
Beer
I have followed last week’s race row in the States closely, but all the talk of racial oppression didn’t upset me half as much as hearing that President Obama served the two combatants BUD LIGHT beer at the White House.
Horrible.
July 2009
6 posts
Unseen Views of Britain →
Some nice pics here… not sure how Sheffield sneaked in though…
Space Race
Erica: How do you feel about space exploration?
Phil (watching TV): What?
Erica: I need to know how you feel.
Phil: You're being weird.
Erica: Why won't you tell me?
Phil: I guess I'm for it...
Erica: I think it's a waste of time.
Phil: Ok.
Calvin: Still Hot at 500 →
This article is really interesting - I have noticed the Calvinist revival myself. Although not sure I can agree with the conclusion that Calvinists don’t care about evangelism - look at Tim Keller’s Redeemer Church in New York…
Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint... →
This is one of the funniest letters I have read. Check out the accompanying photos for maximum impact!
“I don’t want to see a ghost,
It’s the sight that I fear most,...”
– Des’ree
May 2009
2 posts
Praying mantis caught on camera eating a... →
This is mental.
April 2009
5 posts
Supersize Joel
On our recent trip to the States I was horrified to realise that as we drove around, Joel would shout “chips, yum yum” everytime we passed a McDonalds road sign (chips are fries, my American friends). Clearly he has learned what the Golden Arches represent.
The question therefore follows - how did he learn? We have only taken him to McDonalds once or twice, when he was very young. He...
Terry Eagleton: The liberal supremacists →
I am surprised to find myself agreeing with arch-Marxist Eagleton… it is indeed a paradox that liberals are tolerant of everything bar what they see as intolerance… not too sure what the answer is to be honest! Answers on a postcard please.
Surely the best use of a Ghostbusters sample of...
What would it look like to fall into a black hole? →
I have often pondered this question, and now I have the answer…
March 2009
10 posts
The rising power of 'geek mums' →
This sounds strangely familiar!
Iraqi footballer shot dead by fan →
Gives a new meaning to fan interference…
“France had made peace with Germany, had forgiven Germany for the brutality of...”
– BBC NEWS | Programmes | From Our Own Correspondent | France’s rendezvous with history
Inmate Murdered After Put in Cell With Killer He... →
More madness from America…
The mechanics of tipping US-style →
To tip - or not to tip?
Rough Justice →
One of the most appalling stories I have read about the ludicrously corrupt American legal system. What a joke.
Do Republicans buy more porn? →
The worst 'good luck' card ever? →
February 2009
22 posts
Let’s rock.
“Moral quandry of the day: Is using a someone’s wireless connection without...”
Sign me up for a six-pack! →
India to launch cow urine as soft drink…
Getting Old (Part II)
Watching the shied core Striking the basket, skidding across the floor, Shows less and less of luck, and more and more Of failure spreading back up the arm Earlier and earlier, the unraised hand calm, The apple unbitten in the palm.
Philip Larkin, “As Bad As A Mile”
I would pay LOTS for this. →
Water-powered jet pack fun.
Robert Mugabe's Birthday Party →
2,000 bottles of champagne — Moët & Chandon and ’61 Bollinger
500 bottles of whisky — Johnny Walker Blue Label, 22yr-old Chivas
8,000 lobsters
100kg king prawns
3,000 ducks
4,000 portions of caviar
8,000 boxes of Ferrero Rocher
16,000 eggs
3,000 cakes — chocolate and vanilla
4,000 packs of pork sausages
500kg cheese
4,000 packets of crackers
“Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the...”
– John Maynard Keynes
PS - I’m not a Marxist!
I like this today.
Domestic Menace →
“As a wise man once said: ‘When people stop believing in God, they don’t believe in nothing, they believe in anything.’ And cooking, it would seem, is the latest fad to fill the deity-shaped hole…”
The Angry Man
“Once an angry man dragged his father along the ground through his own orchard. ‘Stop!’ cried the groaning old man at last. ‘Stop! I did not drag my father beyond this tree.’
It is hard living down the tempers we are born with. We all begin well, for in our youth there is nothing we are more intolerant of than our own sins writ large in others and we fight them...
Getting Old
Phil: You guys are, like, our oldest friends.
Steve: I'm not old!
Phil: You are in your thirties!
Steve: I'm thirty.
Phil: Yeah, you are in your thirties!
"It's your hamster Richard - and it's not... →
The best complaint letter… ever.
Good Value
That crazy Frenchman Jean Baudrillard wrote that there are four ways that an object obtains value:
The first is the functional value of an object; its instrumental purpose. A pen, for instance, writes; and a refrigerator cools.
The second is the exchange value of an object; its economic value. One pen may be worth three pencils; and one refrigerator may be worth the salary earned by three months...
Blur - Mellow Song
“An oldie but a...
Would you die if you ate this? →
I can’t wait to find out.